Observing men’s body language to see their patterns of flirting gestures wasn’t as appealing as watching women’s for some reason. Men don’t appear to have as many flirting signs – perhaps this could be due to our stiff nature where our bodies aren’t as flexible (as our ancestors main concern was to hunt and develop strong muscles for survival, so our main asset when it came to finding a mate was the display of our big muscles, tall stature and large crotch to the female). I found it fun to analyze this masculine behaviour nonetheless. When women interact with men and women alike they are emotional, they talk about their feelings or they share their worries – with male interactions on the other hand, it is different. From a young age when interacting with other men, males tend to experience a kind of platonic pride oriented love for each other, where each male has to prove who is the most dominant male of the group by impressing the rest. Any display of sensitivity can be seen as a weakness (which was a vulnerability in the eyes of our ancestors primitive enemies), so their interactions with other men involved the passing of straight information, facts and solutions to problems (notice how women have better handwriting than men? Men just want to write the information down quickly while women take their time). Guys understand that they have to be more sensitive when in the dating game, but sadly after conquering the heart of the female and making sure of it (such as through marriage), they will gradually return to their true nature of facts and information, becoming less involved in dealing with that sensitive side they had to bring out.
Of course me being such the Casanova that I am know all about this 😛 … Okay I’m not much of a practiced person in this area but I’m good at observing others doing it (only difference between stalking and research is a pen and paper) so there’s a few things I’ve seen. In the interaction between males and females something funny always occurs. When guys notice girls they find attractive they will subtly straighten their backs to appear taller, suck in their guts and expand their chests – this isn’t as noticeable at parties where everyone is dressed up, but try going to your local gym’s swimming pool, beach or wherever you can see people at their most vulnerable and exposed. This behaviour is due to the simple fact that what is generally considered “hot” or “sexy” is our gender differences, for instance, men try to highlight their stature and muscles while women will draw attention to their femininity such as their cleavage, long hair (by touching/fixing it), crossing their legs and narrowing them to emphasize their hips, to uses of the sideways head position to expose the vulnerable and delicate neck, and so forth.
Reading female body language isn’t really about spotting specific gestures and movements. It’s about spotting changes in a woman’s behaviors. So before you start looking for meaningful cues you’ve got to establish a “baseline” of her typical body language. How she deviates from the baseline will then give you a glimpse into how she is feeling. (This tip, along with many others in this article, were learned from body language expert Joe Navarro)
I have a job that takes me all over the world. I often go to local bar and clubs to hang out. And being single, I usually sit at the bar. Quiet often, a couple will come in and sit next to me. It seems like the women always ends up next to me, I don’t plan it that way. I consider myself both attractive and approachable. So I often start up a conversation with the couple. As the night goes on, and the women gets more intoxicated, almost always, she will end up touching me with her leg. Being a gentleman, I will assume it is an accident and make adjustments. But more often than not, she will then make another attempt to legs (again under the bar where her partner can’t see). Being somewhat bright/intuned, I will then keep it still. From that point on, anything can happen. It may simply be a turn on and at the end of the night, we go our separate ways. Sometimes, the woman will ask for my number when her partner is in the bathroom. And a few times, I’ve actually hooked up close by. It’s simply amazes me how something that seems so innocent at first can fan the flames.
Excellent post! I was just thinking about this topic the other day. The framework you provided was exactly what I needed to share with some friends who needed help understanding and upgrading their game.
Remember what I said above about eye contact. Looking you in the eye? That’s just polite. “Gazing” at you? That’s something else entirely. And so it is with personal questions. Going through the “where are you from, what do you do, where did you go to school” rigamarole isn’t a sign of attraction. Asking questions specifically tailored to who you are, the conversation the two of you are having that help her to get at who you really are deep down, that’s a sign of attraction.
Buy a Kindle Kindle eBooks Kindle Unlimited Prime Reading Advanced Search Best Sellers & More Kindle Book Deals Free Reading Apps Kindle Singles Newsstand Accessories Content and devices Kindle Support
I have noticed when I talk to girls who seem interested in me that they do check most of the “good” boxes but with eye-contact, they don’t hold it but after 3-4 seconds they hold it but only hold it for 3-4 seconds. Is it a sign of disinterest? Otherwise, they seem to enjoy my company.
A study in the journal Evolutionary Psychology postulates a reason for the difference between how men and women flirt. Basically, you’ve evolved to be hyper-perceptive of sexual interest so you don’t miss any opportunities. Women, however, have evolved to be less perceptive of sexual interest because hopping on every caveman they run across means they end up stuck with less than ideal mates and more offspring than they can take care of.
One area where you might see a girl freeze as a result of discomfort is her arms. If a girl feels uncomfortable her arms will be tense and close to her body. On the flip side, if she’s relaxed her body language will signal that comfort and she’ll move her arms more. She’ll use her hands more and more as she talks and her arms will swing freely at her sides when she walks around the room.
I have a little experiment that I want you to try out. The next time you have a great conversation with a woman you just met and feel that she’s definitely attracted to you, ask her if she remembers what the first thing you said to her was. Not to knock your ego or your brilliant opener here, but the chances are that 90% of the time, she won’t have a damn clue. Don’t worry, this isn’t because your opener wasn’t good enough or you weren’t memorable enough. It’s because women pay far more attention to body language and non-verbal communication than men ever do.
Numerous studies into courtship showed that women are initiators of a romantic encounter 90% of the time. They do it by sending subtle signals – eye, face and body signals that are sent to their targeted men. If a man was perceptive enough to pick it up, he would usually approach them. While some men approach even without any signals being sent to them, their overall success rate with courtships is low, because they are approaching even when they are not welcome. So, while it looks as though men do the first move, and many men themselves believe that they, in actual fact, in 90% of the encounters, it is not true.
What this book successfully made me realize though is that I send confusing mixed signals to guys I like. So I used this book for a different purpose altogether – learning how to send the correct signals.
The neck exposure display is done by removing long hair or by simply canting the head to the side. It says, “I’m trusting and submissive to your dominance and am showing you this by exposing my vulnerable neck by canting to the side or removing my hair. I trust that you won’t harm me.”
There are exceptions of course, such as when a girl is nervous or shy and doesn’t talk a lot around a guy she likes. But in my experience, even shy girls who liked me eventually opened up to me and talked a lot more.
Do beware though that shy women, whether they like you or not, are less likely to look you in the eye! Eye contact simply makes them uncomfortable as they’re uncomfortable with themselves. That doesn’t mean they’re uncomfortable with you. In all likelihood they are just frightened you won’t like them, so they’re nervous. And as the story goes, when we are nervous we do things that make other people less likely to like us. Which is one of the little absurdities in life!
Whichever reasons for that woman acting aggressive and bitchy toward you are, I recommend that you should keep your head on addressing the challenges you meet precisely and learning necessary skills for you to deal with and beat off these challenges.
This specialist training course contains information that you won’t get from human psychology/non-verbal communication websites. It’s a closely kept secret that is revealed to only a few men who under normal circumstances would pay the author, Adam Lyons, several thousand dollars for one-to-one coaching in the techniques.